SinO nga ba si BoB Ong?!

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso,utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi ikaw mismo!" - Bob Ong

I've been a recipient of the oh-really-I-can't-believe-you-dig-that-look for quite some time now. It's seems that each time I quote a certain Bob Ong people can't help but give me a perplexed expression. It's maybe because I am known as a reluctant fan of anything written in Tagalog with Dr. Jose Rizal's El Filibusterismo and Noli Me Tangere as exceptions; my Filipino vocabulary is very limited; and I don't look like someone who would patronize local talents. The first choices are most definitely true but the last one is just a product of an irrational inclination of mankind to abruptly judge others.

My first encounter with this guy was four years ago. I was introduced to his works by my friend after he forced me to borrow and read a yellow-covered half-a-book bearing, an odd yet catchy title Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro Ang Mga Pilipino?. I was told that I’ll like probably not the book but the author. An obsession with a masterpiece is often preceded an unrequited love affair with the author. That's how it is with me all the time. So I took the challenge and I was glad I did.

I was hesitant to flip the pages at first. It looks like a compilation of hackneyed Erap jokes but I decided to dwell beyond the cover and started to flip the pages anyway. I must admit that I had a hard time digesting the first two chapters. I am a bit unaccustomed to reading prose and poetries written in Tagalog although I have such a great relationship with OPM songs in the same language. And I believe it's not just me.

My sort of rain check turned out to be a fulfilling one. I had fun with some of the chapters although I have to confess that most of the later chapters were dragging and started to sound really corny. Well, corny is not something that is so negative in our culture. I think that's the beauty of Bob Ong's book. It capitalizes on something that Filipinos are drawn into - the mawkish and tritely contrived phrases and ideas. Think of a funny line from a John Lloyd Cruz movie, the kind that makes you cringe yet you keep on reciting the lines with an utmost effort to mimic the suave quality of its delivery just because it makes you feel better. You'll get the same feeling after reading a Bob Ong book.

Most of Bob Ong fan out there would agree if I say that Bakit Baliktad Magbasa ng Libro Ang Mga Pilipino is probably not one of his best. It is sloppy in a way that it will entertain you but not really. Not the kind that you would read while waiting for someone at the coffee shop. Not the kind that would compel you to cancel a meeting nor even a phone call. But the newly-found subject of my undivided attention kept me craving for more of his hilarious yet blatantly correct opinions. Soon I found myself buying his other books and finishing it before I can empty my cold cup of flavored tea.

I find his semi-autobiographical account of childhood and school life ABNKKBSNPLAko?! (read as “aba nakakabasa na pala ako?!”) as very enticing. It must be the feeling of nostalgia that had people reading it and smiling at sweet memories of their own childhood at the same time. In this particular book, Bob Ong prolifically delivered somewhat familiar topics such as terror teachers, leaking pens, circa 80s gadgets, and other everyday things that people can easily relate to and turn them into a fun contemplative session. Most of his readers were amazed by his wit and humor, which is very evident considering his satirical ways. I think though that his mastery exceeds more than just what is laughable. His innate gift of delving into deeper and often more serious topics such as ambitions, life, dreams and love in a sneaky way is what I admire most in this enigmatic writer. He has an unprecedented way of pushing reality right in your face without you noticing it. He can talk about street foods or elevators like it's a joke. You will laugh and then you'll ponder. And before you know it you already received an uppercut blow to your ego and a string of painful reality is now embedded within you before you can even shun from the truth.

In Stainless Longganisa, Bob Ong talked about his pursuit for literary success, his love for prose and poetry, and his struggle to become a mysterious and influential modern Filipino classic writer of our time. It was in this book where I learned that the mind behind the clever analogies is not really Bob Ong. Bob Ong is just a pen name of a modern Filipino pop culture prodigy whose face remains a blank canvass in the mind of his followers.

The name Bob Ong was actually conceived from a webpage  www.bobongpinoy.com (tranlasted as dumb Filipino), which tackled the quirks of Filipino culture. What was once a hobby for a web developer and a teacher became a sensation amongst the young free-spirited population, which was welcomed with much admiration and passion by the young generation as evidenced by the People's Philippine Web Award for Weird/Humor in 1998. Soon the web discussions landed in print and thus the Bob Ong books were born.

And you might be wondering, where did he get a pseudonym such as Bob Ong? Bob Ong, the pen name, was from a fan who contacted the author through his webpage and wrote something to him addressing him as Bob Ong thinking that it was his real name. Although some speculations revolve around the notion that the poet Paolo Manalo is the brain behind the pseudonym, no one is certain of his real identity except maybe for himself and the publisher. Several attempts were made to trick him into appearing for the public like book signings as narrated in Stainless Longganisa but he never showed up as far as the people know. Also in the same book, he made it clear that he is not a Filipino-Chinese and neither his last name is Ong. Some say that Carlos Palanca Memorial Awardee for Literature Eros Atalia, the author of Peksman, Mamatay Ka Man Nagsisinungaling Ako and Lapit Na Me, Ligo Na U, is the real Bob Ong. Sure there's a similarity in their works but in my honest opinion, since I read his books too, I don't think he is Bob Ong at all. Personally, I am more inclined to believe that Peksman is a rip-off of Bob Ong's work.

When people say ‘do not judge the book by its cover’ or in some cases by it s title, they mean it. In this case, what was at first an attempt to stop my friend from bugging me about his new literary discovery turned out to be one of the most productive reads of my life. I may have had difficulty digesting certain lines initially but the magical power of Bob Ong's literary prowess had me going for more. Whereas most books are either just funny or too serious, ABNKKBSNPLAko?!, Bakit Baliktad Magbasa Ng Libro Ang Mga Pilipino, and Stainless Longganisa are paragons of Filipino's way of dealing with everyday challenges, which is basically laughing about it. More than just comedic literary masterpieces, Bob Ong's books are inspirational, addicting, and highly influential - the kind of genre that would no doubt penetrate and impact the lives of the young Filipinos of today. It fuses fun, nostalgia, humor, and self scrutiny delivered in a conversational and informal manner that is very reminiscent of J.D. Salinger to stress out specific ludicrous ways that Filipinos all share. Not only a massive force that drives the local literary wagon in the modern era, Bob Ong's masterpieces offers more than a good read and a cycle of guffaws. If I were to categorize his books, it would fall under the self-help shelf for they do not only allow us to think about our lives but also they create an ambiance that allows us to become aware of our culture and traditions. Thus, anchoring the modern Filipinos to our scintillating past, to our amazing and often hilarious ethos, and to the awful truth that lurks within us.

Now, you may ask: Who really is Bob Ong? I think I know the answer. Bob Ong is you. He is me. He is every Filipino.*